My College Essay
Sometimes when nobody is around, I sit and try to make things move. I stare with all my might at, say, the remote control. I try to clear my mind and visualize the remote control levitating in the air and gently gliding into my right palm. When that fails, I open my eyes as wide as possible, refusing to blink or move at all, and think, “MOVE!” So far, nothing has ever moved. But I won’t give up. I am still hoping to discover my telekinetic powers.
I guess what I fear most is being ordinary. Well, Okay--I admit I fear terrorists, a monster in the closet, big snakes, and knowing that I have an angry girlfriend to confront, just as much or more. But I don’t want to be ordinary. Ordinary is so boring; ordinary is pointless, ordinary is so very . . . ordinary. Anyone can be ordinary. But I don’t want to be just anyone.
The news makes me think about being ordinary. Too often the news tells us of people who want to be extraordinary, to be super-people. To do this, they kill innocent, helpless beings. Now, I don’t need to kill anybody; I am a tad more laid back than most serial killers. But I, too, want to do something. I have a predilection towards living in a friend’s basement, eating Ramen Noodle Soup, writing the most prestigious humor column in the world, worthy of Dave Barry comparison.
My grandpa once told me, “If you think you’re being original, you’re probably wrong. You must first study history to see if anyone has done the same thing before.” Only one percent of my life is original, if that. Humans have been recording history for about 10,000 years. I won't be the first person to go through anything that I go through. You see, I want to change the world; I want to make the difference.
Now, they tell me I have nothing to worry about, they say I’ll be fine. They say I will find my niche in the world and live comfortably. What I hear is that I will get a normal desk job, a normal house, and be comfortable with my dull lifestyle.
I refuse to be just another ordinary, normal, dull person in the crowd. Eventually I’ll solve the dispute between the Israelis and the Palestinians, or create a cheap and effective source of power that will wipe out the need for oil.
Perhaps tomorrow will be the day I make the remote control move.